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FUNDING SECURED
Elon Musk completed the $44B Twitter buyout and fired a handful of execs, the ECB raised rates to highest level since 2009, Putin doesn't plan to use nukes in Ukraine, fossil fuel consumption will likely peak this decade, and Tesla's Model Y topped new European registrations last month.
Meta Gets Clapped
Meta fell 20% after hours on poor earnings, mortgage rates are over 7%, US auto sales are on track to rise in October, Rishi Sunak is committed to banning fracking, banks are starting to fund their debt commitments for the Twitter deal, and the DOJ is probing Tesla over self-driving claims.
🚨EXEC SUM 200K🚨
Musk expects the Twitter deal to close by Friday, Apple is cracking down on NFTs, oil companies are making bank, Amazon will accept Venmo, Kanye West is no longer a billionaire and getting canceled at an accelerating rate, and house prices are cooling at record rates.
Chinese Stocks in Freefall
Rishi Sunak will be the new UK Prime Minister, US and Euro zone business activity is contracting, China's GDP grew at a faster-than-expected rate in Q3, Chinese stocks tanked as Xi has an iron grip on the country, Apple raised its Apple TV+ and Apple Music prices, Tesla cut car prices in China, and TikTok denied that it could track user locations in the US.
Boris Johnson Pulled Out
Boris Johnson pulled out of the UK PM race, retail investors are down bad in 2022, Xi Jinping is back for another term in China, US firms are seeing a mass exodus of CFOs, Japan is buying $30B more yen, Goldman is doubling down on wealth management, and Facebook threatened to block news content in Canada.
Truss Exits at 4.1x Scaramucci multiple
Liz Truss set the record for shortest UK PM tenure, Musk plans to layoff 75% of Twitter's staff, China is scrambling to deal with chip sanctions, Snap's stock fell 25% on a poor earnings report, home sales keep declining, college enrollment is down for the third straight year, Turkey slashed interest rates despite high inflation, and Biden said he would refill the US's strategic oil reserves when oil prices fall below $72.
Messi Making Money Moves
Lionel Messi launched an investment firm targeting sports / sports-tech investments, UK inflation is double digits again, $13B in SPAC deals have been liquidated this year, weed will be sold in select US gas stations next year, startups are taking on debt to avoid valuations hits, and VCs are FOMO'ing into AI deals.
The Netflix U-Turn
Stocks rose, Netflix gained 2.4M users in Q3, McDonald's will sell Krispy Kreme doughnuts at nine locations, VCs are pulling out of space funding, Biden is opening the US oil reserves again to control gas prices, Apple is cutting iPhone 14+ production, and Russia destroyed 30% of Ukraine's power plants.
Recession Imminent
Bloomberg is projecting a 100% chance of a recession in the next 12 months, China delayed its Q3 GDP data, Goldman is reorganizing its business, WWE is outperforming the market, Uber Eats partnered with Leafly to deliver cannabis products, Pelosi's husband took a huge L on Nvidia and Micron options, and new UK finance minister Jeremy Hunt is reversing 'almost all' of the UK tax cut plan.
It's All Downhill for Trevor Milton
Stocks were down again last week on a hot inflation report, consumer spending was flat in September, Lizz Truss ditched her corporate tax cut plan, Chinese president Xi Jinping is expected to be confirmed for a third term, Instacart cut its valuation again, Nikola founder Trevor Milton was found guilty of fraud, North Korea is testing more missiles than ever before, and Tennessee beat Bama in an instant classic to cap off a wild weekend of college football.
Inflation and Mortgage Rates are Bussin'
Netflix is charging $6.99 for a new ad-supported plan, inflation rose 0.4% MoM (0.6% MoM for core), 30-year mortgage rates hit a 20-year high at 6.92%, social security payments will have biggest jump in 40 years, VC firms are buying tech stocks, Apple is partnering with Goldman to offer a savings account, and Merkel has 'no ragrets' about energy policy with Russia. Pretty wild turn of events with the market opening sharply down, only to rebound on *checks notes* not so great economic news and closing sharply up!
Kanye Dumped by JPMorgan
Global wealth is on track to decline 2% this year, mutual fund managers are holding record amounts of cash, Biden says a 'slight recession' is possible, JPMorgan broke up with Yeezy, Delta and Starbucks are linking their loyalty programs, Tom Brady and Kim Clijsters are the newest owners of a Major League Pickleball team, and Elon Musk launched a fragrance called 'Burnt Hair' for $100. He really missed a layup with "Elon's Musk" smh.