- Exec Sum
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Archive
Thank You, Tim Apple
Apple crushed Q1 earnings to hopefully save the market, Facebook is winding down its crypto venture, Robinhood's stock is on life support, Apple plans to turn iPhones into payment terminals, Italy is still waiting on a new president 🤌🏼, Spotify said adios to Neil Young, Tesla stock dropped on news of vehicle delays, JetBlue turned its first pandemic profit, and Russia sent some medical units to the Ukrainian front.
Printer Go Bruhhhh
J Pow said it's time to cool down the printer and raise some rates, markets fell into the close, Djokovic found a new country to play tennis, Supreme Court Justice Breyer is retiring, Tesla posted great earnings but the Cybertruck is delayed (again), Boeing had production problems with the 787 this quarter, J&J mega-merger looks unlikely, Bentley plans to go full-EV by 2030, and UBS is buying Wealthfront.
All Eyes on Musk
Microsoft posted a solid quarter, Tesla is up to bat after market close, GM is investing a ton of EV money in Michigan, Pelosi is running for reelection for the millionth term, US chip supply keeps getting tighter, a Swiss banker spent a ton at strip clubs, Barry Bonds' HOF bid got rug pulled, and Nvidia prepares to abandon ARM acquisition.
Bear Market Cancelled (also, we turned 1)
Crazy day in equity markets as the indexes bounced off the lows to close green, the US is moving families out of Ukraine, a now-ex Merrill Lynch adviser went psycho at a smoothie shop, Saudi Aramco says oil is back, Joe Biden called a Fox News reporter a "stupid son of a b****ch", and we are aiming to disrupt financial media
Margin Called
Crypto and growth stocks got clapped last week, all US stock indexes had their worst weeks since 2020, the US and Russia are playing geopolitical chicken in Ukraine, execs in Hong Kong are tired of covid restrictions, Lamborghini is going electric, Credit Suisse wants its employees back in the office on Feb 1st, M&Ms go woke, and Tesla releases earnings this week.
Netflix and Not Chill
Peloton halts production, Nasdaq is down 10% from its highs, Netflix dropped 20% on slowing subscriptions, Russia wants to outlaw crypto while NYC's mayor takes first paycheck in crypto, US home sales drop, Jamie Dimon got PAID, Walmart's top e-commerce executive is leaving, and crypto.com got rug pulled.
Peloton Down Horrendous
Stocks were down again yesterday, Biden supports JPow's monetary tightening, Fauci said we might vaccinate toddlers soon, Biden thinks Russia might invade Ukraine, Qatar World Cup tickets are PRICY, the Microsoft deal hurt Sony's stock price, tide pods are going to be pricy, and Peloton execs cashed out big.
Microsoft's $69B (Nice) Acquisition
Microsoft offers $69B to buy Activision (which means you can VLOOKUP your K/D ratio), Peloton plans to lay off 41% of sales and marketing staff, Europe energy bills are through the roof, OnlyFans hires federal lobbyists (OnlyFeds?), Goldman paid its employees a ton, Coinbase & MasterCard partner to let users buy NFTs with credit cards, Shopify expands in China, and Sofi can finally become a bank.
Djokovic Got Aced
Djokovic got booted from Australia, bank earnings are coming in hot all week, Southeast US got clapped by a winter storm, Netflix raises prices, Tiger Woods has a SPAC, Unilever looks for a massive acquisition, VC deals hit an all-time high, everyone can order free at-home covid tests, Morgan Stanley named 199 new MDs, and the only thing performing worse than Chamath's SPACs is his public relations.
Not-So-Royal Family
Prince Andrew is now simply "Andrew", indexes were red across the board, several bank earnings today, Earth was HOT in 2021, Supreme Court blocks Biden at the rim, Delta (the airline, not the variant) had great revenue numbers, Navient cancelled a lot of student loans, PPI data came in lower than expected, and Elizabeth Warren blamed "greedy grocery stores" for inflation.
Party Like It's 1982
Inflation came in HOT with a 7% YoY increase, workers made more money and got poorer anyway, markets were green again, Turks hope Bitcoin can save them, Saudi Wealth Fund wants to buy lots of stocks, TPG goes public today, and China's 'zero-covid' policy gets a stress test.
Citadel Securities - the new tech unicorn?
Citadel raised outside funding, CPI data dropping at 8:30, stocks bounced back yesterday, US daily covid cases hit all-time highs, Citi pulls the plug on some Mexican banks, China thinks it found water on the moon, Rivian's COO said adios, Meta mandates covid boosters (which raises the question: can you catch covid in the metaverse?), United cuts 3,000 flights, Spain says covid in endemic, Pfizer has (another) new shot, Adidas signed a fat office lease in LA.